BEFORE YOU JUDGE
The imperfection in the world generally is a reflection and a
consequence of our imperfection as mankind. Each one of us keep struggling with
habits, behaviours and attitudes we do not like but exhibit every now and
again.
We have weaknesses; tendencies and behaviours with negative
impacts and repercussion on us and our world. Too many times we’ve sworn never
to act that way again but before we know it, we’re back doing that which we
have sworn never to do again.
Even while at it, we know it’s wrong but the will power to
stop ourselves isn’t always there, we go ahead, do the wrong with our eyes wide
open, and after we are done, we are full of remorse, regret, guilt and at times
shame.
We say to ourselves, we would not indulge any longer, we get
even religious about it and ask God to help us, but after a little whole, we’re
back there, doing that which we do not want to do.
This nature is what makes us human; weak, frail, imperfect
and flawed. I do not think there is any human being who gets it right all the
time. We make mistakes every now and again, we act out of character and
misconduct ourselves often. We are ordinary human beings.
Incidentally by nature, we, humans, are the ones in charge of
the affairs of life. Mankind rules the world. If mankind in our imperfection is
in charge of the world then it’s no wonder, disorder, chaos, crisis, errors and
mistakes characterize existence.
If the imperfect rules over the perfect, very soon the
perfect becomes imperfect. It’s logical. Religion became necessary in order to
keep mankind in check, and help us acknowledge the reality of our
accountability to the Maker of the world and the source of life; the Almighty
Himself.
Through religion, the doctrine of self-control became
prominent and rife. Yes, everyone gets tempted to do wrong most of the time,
but we are supposed to control ourselves and not act based on how we feel but
based on what is appropriate. Doing the right thing. Righteousness in theme
became the order for right morals and right behaviours for mankind.
Ladies and gentlemen, as popular and acceptable as religion
is, wrong behaviours, immorality and decadence has consistently been on the
rise simply because self-control is impossible through a decision or choice;
it’s a manifestation initiated from the realm of the supernatural and even this
activation takes a process and a season.
Dear friends, let’s face it, we all struggle with self-control.
The things we want to do, we do not do them, those we do not want to do are the
very things we find ourselves doing most of the time. Its human nature.
In view of this fact dear friends, how then should we conduct
ourselves? You see, I have seen many people go through very difficult
situations, difficult experiences and abject subjugation because there were
simply human; they made mistakes; their weaknesses got the better side of them.
They did what was wrong and their whole world turned against them.
Please understand me, I’m not supporting or advocating wrong
doing or bad behavior, no not at all, my advocacy this morning is for us to be
fair, considerate and careful when criticizing others because we have our
weaknesses too, we are also not perfect.
Many times when we sit, and speak and judge and criticize
others who missed it, or made mistakes; we speak with so much effrontery as
though we are flawless, incapable of making mistakes or beyond reproach. When
sometimes in truth, we are weaker or much worse than the victim in our witness
box, it’s just that we’ve not been discovered yet.
When we focus our energies and attention on the wrong of
others and we pride ourselves as professional fault finders we destroy not just
others but ourselves in the process. When we fail to see the good side of
others, the motive behind their desperation, the experience behind their fears
and the upbringing influencing their values system, but play god over their
lives; we destroy potentials, possibilities and progress for everyone.
Getting results does not come by driving others to act right
always. It is a battle you can never win, you cannot make people do what they
are incapable of doing simply because they’re incapable by nature. They lack
the will power.
People outgrow weaknesses over a season through maturity and
a mind reset. I’ve seen people who missed death narrowly due to drunk driving
yet after their experience, their drunken nature worsened. They want to stop
but lack the self-will to stop, what they need is help.
You don’t judge and criticize and disgrace people out of a
wrong conduct or bad behavior, you love and help people through bad situations
by being caring, sensitive, stern, firm, kind , respectful and truthful. Hate
does not change anybody, it creates in them rebellion and indignation, it is
love that draws people to repentance and inspires the will to change.
As a leader in a home, community, society, business, company
or any group, attacking your family, your followers or subordinates and judging
them based on their weaknesses and bad conduct immediately inspires them to
begin to find fault in you too and guess what, they will find because you’re
not perfect as well.
Progressive leadership is achieved by identifying with others
in both areas of strength and weaknesses; using the pronoun ‘we’ and not ‘you’
will make them accept and support you immediately.
Coordinating the individual strengths of your followers and
managing their weaknesses is the key to collective success. If you’re
distracted by always trying to fix, correct and punish their wrong doing, you
will lose focus and purpose totally and your whole effort will be centrerd on
the people. You most likely would then result to blame game and finger
pointing. You would have allowed the people distract you from the purpose.
Many bosses today suffer stress and high blood pressure
trying to fix the conduct and behaviours of their subordinates, your attention
is off the job to the people; you will not only fail at your job, you will also
fail in your health if you continue to do this.
In every team you will find as weaknesses of members,
carelessness, laziness, negligence, apathy, stubbornness, audacious ignorance,
victim mentality and the likes; these are common distractions everywhere and
trying to fight them will eventually wear you out.
Focus on result, inspire your team, encourage them, reward
good and outstanding behaviours, don’t celebrate or popularize weaknesses;
dwell more and speak more often on the good and the exceptional; don’t spend
too much time or give so much attention to the weaknesses of your team members.
What you focus on becomes bigger. Encourage your team, don’t anger them,
inspire motivate, be an example. Do not
judge and you will discover you’re on the fast lane to uncommon achievements
and great success. Before you control others, learn to control yourself.
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